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While I was wringing

Yazan: admin Tarih: May 21st, 2013 | Kategori:: İngilizce Oyun, Kısa Hikayeler, Komik İngilizce

Sıkarken
Nasrettin hoca bir gün yolun kenarında kedisini yıkıyormuş.Yoldan geçen arkadaşı hocaya:
-Hocam kediyi yıkama ölür, demiş.
Hoca aldırış etmemiş ve yıkamış.Arkadaşı dönüşte hocayı tekrar yolun kenarında görmüş.Kedi ölmüş. Adam:
-Hocam ben size kediyi yıkamayın ölür demedimmi? demiş.Hoca:
-Ben kediyi yıkarken ölmediki sıkarken öldü demiş.

While I was Wringing
One day, Hodja was washing cat near a road. One of his friends who was passing by told him:
-Hodja, don’t wash the cat. Otherwise, it dies.
Hodja didn’t care him and went on washing. On his way back, the man saw Hodja with the dead cat. The man told him:
-Haven’t I told you. If you wash the cat, it dies.
Hodja replied immediately:
-It didn’t die when I was washing. It died while I was wringing.

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A Mime in a Zoo

Yazan: admin Tarih: May 21st, 2013 | Kategori:: İngilizce Okuma, İngilizce Oyun, Kısa Hikayeler, Komik İngilizce

A Mime in a Zoo

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it’s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, “Help, Help me!”, but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, “Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”

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İngilizce Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları

Yazan: admin Tarih: Mar 5th, 2013 | Kategori:: İngilizce Okuma, Kısa Hikayeler, Komik İngilizce

İngilizce Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları

Nasreddin and the Pot

One day Nasreddin borrowed a pot from his neighbour Ali. The next day he brought it back with another little pot inside. “That’s not mine,” said Ali. “Yes, it is,” said Nasreddin. “While your pot was staying with me, it had a baby.”

Some time later Nasreddin asked Ali to lend him a pot again. Ali agreed, hoping that he would once again receive two pots in return. However, days passed and Nasreddin had still not returned the pot. Finally Ali lost patience and went to demand his property. “I am sorry,” said Nasreddin. “I can’t give you back your pot, since it has died.” “Died!” screamed Ali, “how can a pot die?” “Well,” said Nasreddin, “you believed me when I told you that your pot had had a baby.”

 

Nasreddin Goes Shopping

One day Nasreddin went to town to buy new clothes. First he tried on a pair of trousers. He didn’t like the trousers, so he gave them back to the shopkeeper. Then he tried a robe which had the same price as the trousers. Nasreddin was pleased with the robe, and he left the shop. Before he climbed on his donkey to ride home, the shopkeeper and the shop-assistant ran out.

“You didn’t pay for the robe!” said the shopkeeper.

“But I gave you the trousers in exchange for the robe, didn’t I?” replied Nasreddin.

“Yes, but you didn’t pay for the trousers, either!” said the shopkeeper.

“But I didn’t buy the trousers,” replied Nasreddin. “I am not so stupid as to pay for something which I never bought.”

Nasreddin’s Visitors

One day a visitor came to Nasreddin’s house. “I am your cousin from Konya,” he said, “and I have brought you a duck to celebrate the visit.” Nasreddin was delighted. He asked his wife to cook the duck, and served the visitor a fine dinner.

The next day another visitor arrived. “I am the friend of the man who brought you the duck,” he said. Nasreddin invited him in and gave him a good meal. The next day another visitor arrived, and said he was the friend of the friend of the man who had brought the duck. Again Nasreddin invited him in for a meal. However, he was getting annoyed. Visitors seemed to be using his house as a restaurant.

Then another visitor came, and said he was the friend of the friend of the friend of the man who had brought the duck. Nasreddin invited him to eat dinner with him. His wife brought some soup to the table and the visitor tasted it. “What kind of soup is this?” asked the visitor. “It tastes just like warm water.” “Ah!” said Nasreddin, “That is the soup of the soup of the soup of the duck.”

Nasreddin and the Beggar

One day, Nasreddin was up on the roof of his house, mending a hole in the tiles. He had nearly finished, and he was pleased with his work. Suddenly, he heard a voice below call “Hello!” When he looked down, Nasreddin saw an old man in dirty clothes standing below.

“What do you want?” asked Nasreddin.

“Come down and I’ll tell you,” called the man.

Nasreddin was annoyed, but he was a polite man, so he put down his tools. Carefully, he climbed all the way down to the ground.

“What do you want?” he asked, when he reached the ground.

“Could you spare a little money for an old beggar?” asked the old man. Nasreddin thought for a minute.

Then he said, “Come with me.” He began climbing the ladder again. The old man followed him all the way to the top. When they were both sitting on the roof, Nasreddin turned to the beggar.

“No,” he said.

 

Nasreddin and the Smell of Soup

One day, a poor man, who had only one piece of bread to eat, was walking past a restaurant. There was a large pot of soup on the table. The poor man held his bread over the soup, so the steam from the soup went into the bread, and gave it a good smell. Then he ate the bread.

The restaurant owner was very angry at this, and he asked the man for money, in exchange for the steam from the soup. The poor man had no money, so the restaurant owner took him to Nasreddin, who was a judge at that time. Nasreddin thought about the case for a little while.

Then he took some money from his pocket. He held the coins next to the restaurant owner’s ear, and shook them, so that they made a jingling noise.

“What was that?” asked the restaurant owner.

“That was payment for you,” answered Nasreddin.

“What do you mean? That was just the sound of coins!” protested the restaurant owner.

“The sound of the coins is payment for the smell of the soup,” answered Nasreddin. “Now go back to your restaurant.”

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Komik Kısa Hikayeler

Yazan: admin Tarih: Mar 5th, 2013 | Kategori:: İngilizce Okuma, Kısa Hikayeler, Komik İngilizce

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

“Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that.”

“Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”

The boy leans over to her and whispers, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

Dear mum,

I am writing you this note to say that I haven’t been honest to you lately.

I have a boyfriend, his name is Dragon and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy.

I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant.

His friends will come over all the time so I can get a little frisky with them.

We will make a living out of growing drugs and selling them to Dragons friends as are both already drug addicts, we will live a life of drugs beer and all the sex.

Wish us luck
Katie

P.S.
I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was a lie I just wanted to let you know there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the top drawer.

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The Landlady(Ev Sahibesi)

Yazan: admin Tarih: Mar 5th, 2013 | Kategori:: Kısa Hikayeler

Roald Dahl tarafından yazılmış ve belki de yazarın en başarılı hikayesi.

Seviye: Upper-Intermediate.

Hikaye’yi İndirmek İçin Tıklayınız…

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