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A Mime in a Zoo

Yazan: admin Tarih: May 21st, 2013 | Kategori:: İngilizce Okuma, İngilizce Oyun, Kısa Hikayeler, Komik İngilizce

A Mime in a Zoo

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it’s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, “Help, Help me!”, but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, “Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”

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America vs. Russia

Yazan: admin Tarih: Mar 5th, 2013 | Kategori:: İngilizce Okuma, İngilizce Oyun, Kısa Hikayeler, Komik İngilizce

America vs. Russia

The Americans and Russians, at the height of the arms race, realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ——- in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were three inches thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund’s neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans, shaking their heads in disbelief. `We don’t understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ——- in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves.”

“That’s nothing,” an American replied. “We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

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Ders 6

Yazan: admin Tarih: Mar 5th, 2013 | Kategori:: İngilizce Dinleme

Başlangıç düzeyi İngilizce dinleme dersleri. Ders 6

Ders 6

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DİNLE-OKU-ÖĞREN 2

Yazan: admin Tarih: May 11th, 2012 | Kategori:: İngilizce Dinleme

DİNLE: story002

Man Injured at Fast Food Place

A 79-year-old man was slightly injured on Saturday while waiting in his brand new convertible in a drive-through lane at Burger Prince restaurant. Herman Sherman of Northville suffered a mild burn about 9:00 p.m. when a young female employee accidentally spilled a cup of coffee into his lap. Sherman said the coffee was hot but not scalding.

He refused medical aid, saying the only problem was the stain on his slacks, but it would wash out. He was given a fresh refill. Before Sherman drove off, the restaurant manager, John Johnson, gave him two free gift certificates–one for an extra-large coffee and one for the restaurant’s newest sandwich, the McRap.

The employee, who was a new hire, was let go later that evening. She was quite upset. She said she would probably sue Burger Prince for letting her go. She said it was the man’s fault for ordering something that she might be able to spill.

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Relatives-Conditionals-Wish Clauses

Yazan: admin Tarih: May 11th, 2012 | Kategori:: İngilizce Alıştırmalar, Worksheets-Quizzes

Relatives-Conditionals-Wish Clauses Exercises
Fill in the blanks with WHO, WHICH, or WHOSE
1) I talked to the girl__________car had broken down in front of the shop.
2) Mr Richards,______________is a taxi driver, lives on the corner.
3) We often visit our aunt in Norwich______________is in East Anglia.
4) This is the girl______________comes from Spain.
5) That’s Peter, the boy_______________has just arrived at the airport.
6) Thank you very much for your e-mail________________was very interesting.
7) The man,________________father is a professor, forgot his umbrella.
8) The children,__________________shouted in the street, are not from our school.
9) The car,_________________driver is a young man, is from Ireland.
10) What did you do with the money_______________your mother lent you?
Answer the following questions. Circle the best option.
1. This is the school____________ I used to study.
a. that b. whose c. which d. where
2. This test is for students ___________ native language is not English.
a. that b. whose c. who d. of whom
3. The student _____________ lost his bag is waiting in the office.
a. that b. whose c. which d. whom
4. The house ___________ they live needs repairing.
a. that b. where c. whose d. of which
5. Children ____________ eat a lot of candy often get bad teeth.
a. that’s b. whose c. who d. —–
6. The girl ____________ pen you borrowed didn’t come to school again.
a. that b. whose c. which d. whose
7. Go and find the guests _________ arrived here yesterday.
a. that b. which c. whose d. those
8. Look at the horses ___________ drinking in the river.
a. which b. who c. those d. —–
9. The student__________ father is sick does not come to school today.
a. which b. that c. whose d. who
10. I ate all the cake___________ you gave me.
a. who b. whose c. ——- d. where
11. My brother Tom, __________ hates fishing, will stay at home.
a. that b. who c. which d. ——-
12. A man ___________ name I have forgotten, came to see you yesterday.
a. that b. whose c. whom d. who
13. I put everything in my suitcase, ____________ is under my bed.
a. which b. where c. that d. who
14. The teacher, ____________ every student is afraid, is really very nice.
a. who b. that c. of whom d. from whom
15.This is the town ____________ I was born.
a. that b. which c. whom d. where

WISH CLAUSES:
1. I haven’t got enough money to buy a new and a modern car.
I wish ______________________________________________.
2. My father died two months ago.
I wish ______________________________________________.
3. I want to see my wife right now.
I wish ______________________________________________.
4. Orhan was a very weak boy when he was at the primary school.
Orhan says, “I wish ______________________________________________.”
5. I could never win a big lottery in the past.
I wish ______________________________________________.
6. My father has a very busy life and he can hardly spare some time for us.
I wish ______________________________________________.
7. I can’t swim as fast as my friends.
I wish ______________________________________________.
8. Maria didn’t have a chance to go to school when she was a little girl.
Maria says, “I wish ______________________________________________.”
9. I want everything in my house to turn to gold right now.
I wish ______________________________________________.
10. I moved from Istanbul to Ankara two years ago.
I wish ______________________________________________.

CONDITIONALS TYPE I, II, III
1. If he ________ (drop) the vase yesterday, it _______________(break).
2. If you __________(have to do) the washing up today, I ______________ (help) you.
3. I wouldn’t run away if I ___________ (see) a spider.
4. We ___________(give) you a lift if you ______________ (have) your bike with you yesterday.
5. If you _________(listen) to me, the accident ________________ (happen) last night.
6. If we ____________ tickets for the concert, we _______________ at home.
a. got / will stay b. don’t get / will stay
c. could get / would stay d. get / will stay
Choose the best one:

1. I ………………. very unhappy if my friends didn’t come to my party.
a) would have been b) will be c) would d) would be

2. If the old man …………………. some money, he would hire a taxi.
a) have b) had c) would have d) had had

3. If you had come in time, you ……………………. the lesson.
a) wouldn’t miss b) would miss
c) would have missed d) wouldn’t have missed

4. I could have heard the telephone if I ……………………….. so deeply.
a) didn’t sleep b) hadn’t been sleeping
c) wouldn’t sleep d) wouldn’t have slept

5. If he doesn’t pay the bill, he ………………………. into trouble.
a) won’t get b) will get c) would get d) would have got

6. If the weather …………………… good, we would go swimming.
a) was b) would be c) were d) is

7. Your brother wouldn’t have found such a nice job if he ……………………. a university diploma.
a) didn’t have b) doesn’t have c) hadn’t had d) hadn’t

8. You would have some money in your pocket if you ……………………. it so generously.
a) hadn’t spent b) didn’t spend c) couldn’t spend d) don’t spend

9. If you don’t succeed in the test, you …………………….. the job.
a) were not going to get b) wouldn’t get c) won’t get d) didn’t get

10. We wouldn’t be here now if we ……………………….. in that airplane crash.
a) were b) had been c) are d) had to be

Rewrite the sentences using UNLESS:

1. If you don’t go to Venice, you will never ride in a gondola.
……………………………………………………………………………………..
2. If it doesn’t rain, we will go to the cinema.
……………………………………………………………………………………..
3. If you don’t go to a Chinese restaurant, you’ll never taste a Peking Duck.
……………………………………………………………………………………..
4. If you don’t go to Bursa, you’ll never climb Uludag.
……………………………………………………………………………………..
5. If you don’t go to India, you’ll never see Taj Mahal.
……………………………………………………………………………………..
6. If you don’t answer my question, I won’t go anywhere.
……………………………………………………………………………………..
7. I won’t let you go if you don’t give me my money back.
……………………………………………………………………………………..

Write sentences with “I WISH………” and “IF ONLY……..”:

1. Ayşe isn’t here.
I wish …………………………………………………………
2. She lives in İstanbul (and she hates it).
She wishes ……………………………………………………
3. He can’t give up smoking.
He wishes ……………………………………………………
If only ………………………………………………………..
4. I’m not lying on a beautiful sunny beach (and that’s a pity).
I wish …………………………………………………………
If only …………………………………………………………
5. They don’t know anything about cars (and their car has just been broken down).
They wish …………………………………………………….
6. He has pneumonia.
He wishes …………………………………………………….
If only …………………………………………………………
7. She has to work tomorrow (but she’d like to stay in bed).
She wishes ……………………………………………………
8. There is going to be an examination tomorrow.
If only …………………………………………………………
9. My brother doesn’t keep his room tidy.
I wish ………………………………………………………….
10. Sue doesn’t help with the housework.
Sue’s mother wishes …………………………………………..
11. Mary often plays the piano in the middle of the night.
Her neighbors wish …………………………………………..

KOPYALA-YAPIŞTIR-DEĞİŞTİR-KULLAN BİLGİ PAYLAŞIMA AÇIK VE ULAŞILIR OLMALI

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