EKolay İngilizce Öğren

There was a man named Bubba and Bubba knew EVERYONE in the whole world!!! Once when Bubba got a new job, Bubba says to his new boss, “Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!” His boss doesn’t believe him, so he says “No you do not know everyone in the whole world” but Bubba says “Yes I do!” so Bubba’s boss says “Well prove it!” then Bubba says “Pick someone… and I know them!” Well Bubba’s boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. “Tom Selleck! I bet you don’t know Tom Selleck!” Bubba says “Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!” but Bubba’s boss says “No you weren’t!” then Bubba says “Yes we were!” so they fly to Hollywood and drive up to Tom Selleck’s house. Bubba knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and Bubba goes “Tom!!!” and Tom goes “Bubba!” and they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba’s boss can’t believe it. But then he thinks “Well that could happen, it’s just one person,” so he tells Bubba and Bubba says “OK, pick somebody else!” This time Bubba’s boss has someone in mind! “The president, Bill Clinton! You don’t know Bill Clinton!” but Bubba says “Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!” Bubba’s boss says “No you weren’t!” and Bubba says “Yes we were!” so they fly to Washington and they catch up with the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Bubba get’s close enough to catch Clinton’s eye and waves “Bill!” and the President waves “Bubba!” and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba’s boss is stunned– he can’t believe it. But then he thinks “Well that’s just two people in one country– that doesn’t mean he knows everyone in the whole world!” so he tells Bubba and Bubba says “OK, pick someone out of the world spectrum and I know them!” And Bubba’s boss knows just who to pick so he says “The Pope! You do not know the Pope!” and Bubba says “The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!” and Bubba’s boss says “No he didn’t!” and Bubba says “Yes he did!” so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people. They work their way through the crowd– without much luck– so Bubba says “Boss, we’re never gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you what–I’ll work my way up there and when I do, I’ll give you a sign that shows you I know the Pope!” and he leaves. Well Bubba’s boss waits and waits and waits and just when he’s about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and right there beside him is Bubba! Shortly afterwards, Bubba’s boss passes out. Bubba comes back and finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says “Boss! Boss! Wake up!” and when his boss comes to, he asks “Boss what happened?” Bubba’s boss looks at Bubba and says “OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton… hell, I can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks ‘Who’s that up there with Bubba?’ that’s a little more than I can take!

America vs. Russia

The Americans and Russians, at the height of the arms race, realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ——- in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were three inches thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund’s neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans, shaking their heads in disbelief. `We don’t understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ——- in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves.”

“That’s nothing,” an American replied. “We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

İngilizce öğrenmenin ve pratik yapmanın en kolay ve etkili yollarından birisi de İngilizce hikaye ve kitaplar okumaktır. Seviyenize uygun hikaye, kitap, roman ve dergi gibi yayınları okursanız İngilizce’nizi ilerletmeye başlarsınız. Boş zamanlarınızı İngilizce yayınları okuyarak geçirirseniz;

1. Çok fazla kullanılan kelimeleri beyniniz bilinçsiz şekilde kaydeder ve konuşurken ya da yazarken bu kelimeleri daha rahat ve çabuk kullanabilirsiniz.

2. Cümle yapılarını çözmeye çalışarak gramer çalışırsınız.

3. Mesaja odaklandığınız için bilmediklerinizi tahmin etme gücünüz artar.

4. Farkında olmadan bazı kalıpları ezberler ve bunlar yardımıyla çok daha akıcı ve rahat konuşabilirsiniz.

5. İyi vakit geçirirsiniz.

6. Bugün de İngilizce çalışmadan geçti demezsiniz.

7. Okuma ve anlama beceriniz artar.

Yarı şaka yarı ciddi bu yararlar çok genel yazılmıştır. Buradan çıkacak sonuç ise, okumadıkça İngilizceyi öğrenme işi pekişmez.

Roald Dahl’ın muhteşem hikayesi “The Landlady” (Ev Sahibesi). Hikayeyi indirmek için tıklayınız.